Here's a myth that has done tremendous damage:
"You should move on. Get closure. Heal completely so there's no trace of what happened."
This is not how healing works.
Where does the pressure to "be over it" live in your body?
The truth about healing:
Healing is not erasure. It's not returning to who you were before.
You cannot go back. The experience changed you. And trying to force yourself to be unchanged—to "get over it," to "move on" as if it never happened—is itself a form of violence.
Real healing is integration. It's weaving the experience into who you are, not pretending it doesn't exist.
Kintsugi doesn't hide the break. It illuminates it.
A healed wound is still a wound. It's just a wound that no longer bleeds. The scar remains. The story remains. And both become part of your wholeness.
Try this reframe:
Instead of: "I should be over this by now."
Try: "I carry this with me now. It's part of me. I'm learning to let it be part of my beauty, not just my pain."
You don't need to pretend you're unbroken. You just need to be whole, cracks and all.
When the pressure to "move on" is exhausting, Grief Compass Journal can help you heal at your own pace.