Here's a myth that causes immense suffering:
"There's a timeline for grief. By [X months], you should be over it."
This creates a race with no finish line and shame when you can't reach it.
Where do you feel the pressure of "should be over it" in your body?
The truth about grief timelines:
Grief has no timeline. Full stop.
The "five stages" everyone mentions? Elisabeth Kübler-Ross herself clarified that she never intended them as a linear progression. People loop back, skip stages, experience everything at once.
How long grief lasts depends on:
- The nature of the loss
- Your previous experiences with loss
- Your support system
- Your individual nervous system
- Thousand other factors unique to you
Some losses are held forever. We don't "get over" them—we learn to carry them differently.
Try this reframe:
Instead of: "I should be over this by now."
Try: "I will give my grief the time it needs. There is no deadline for a heart to heal."
Your grief doesn't fit a schedule. Neither does your healing. Take the time you need—it belongs to you.
When others don't understand your timeline, Grief Compass Journal honors your pace.